are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
