dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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