woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
