Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
