Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
