So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
