scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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