Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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