You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
