Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
