I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
