he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
