What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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