I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
