Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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