Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
