i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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