so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
