I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
