Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
