Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
