You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
