she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
