I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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