We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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