I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
