That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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