it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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