I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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