dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
