just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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