I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My penis needs a shock collar
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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