9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
