Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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