well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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