I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
