I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
