its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
