Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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