i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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