Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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