Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
