I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize