So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
