D3 body, D1 cock
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The beer is more important than you right now.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
