Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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