Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
