I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am available for nakedness
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
