I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
