it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Welp...herpes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
