She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
